I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
