tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
