I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have already put on my inside pants.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
