There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
