i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
