You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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