he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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