I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
