Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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