you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
