this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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