my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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