She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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