would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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