I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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