We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
