Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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