why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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