please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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