Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
