did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
honey bunches of taint.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
