I bet he comes in French.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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