Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
