This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
