I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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