i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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