How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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