I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
