My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
