This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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