S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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