YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
