he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
