I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
