Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
