Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
