Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
