Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
