is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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