Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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