Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
