he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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