True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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