How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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