when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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