I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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