bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
