R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
