I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
