It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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