You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
